What a Shame!

Well, not only has it been over a year since I posted anything to my blog, I have even been home in the states for over 6 months. My last post was August of 2007 and we are now approaching Thanksgiving week of 2008. That's pathetic~~~

Well, in order to pick up where I left off, I guess I owe you information on my remaining 8 months in Mexico.

I never returned to teaching English in a structured manner other than to teach a few interested children some key phrases and conversational tricks so that they could converse with English speaking visitors, and especially with a few of the workers who worked in the kitchen and dealt with many visitors as they prepared food for as many as 400 people at their peak!

I was in Mexico last week briefly and had the chance to visit with two of the adult children of Estado 29. They both shared with me that they had a chance to be tested for their proficiency in English. My former roomate, Cindy, was pleased to tell me that she tested well and that she has been conversing with visitors every chance she can get. By the way, today is Cindy's birthday. She is 21 and came to Estado when she was 4 months old. I hope that all the children will have the chance to love Jesus the way Cindy does, and grow up to be such a fine person.

August and September 2007 were full of the hustle and bustle of getting last minute details together for school enrollment, uniform, clothing and shoe purchases and making sure every child was taken care of. Those were not my responsibilities, but I was always around the buzz.

In August 2007 Adolfo, Cindy, and Viviana began University. They were three of the first children from Estado 29 to complete high school while living at Estado in 40 years and were the first three enrolled in University! Wow!

It was very interesting sharing a room with Cindy while she had her first University experiences. It was very nostalgic for me and I was able to encourage her when she would be overwhelmed and exhausted and offer input on how to appropriate time and continue to have a life. There is always a balance to be had, No?

Adolfo, Cindy, and Viviana are now half way through their second semester in their second year of University. Thank you to all you generous supporters!!! Adolfo is majoring in Engineering, Cindy in Education, and Viviana in Interior Design. All three are well suited for their pursuits.

I ran into, literally, Sofia at the Harbor last week and she had just come from the University where she will begin attending in January. She will be studying Law.

After school began believe it or not the preparations of "the list" began. It was my goal last year to create a master list that could be used throughout the year for churches and groups visiting containing the children's names, date of birth and other information especially helpful at Christmas. Most visits from October through December were preparatory for the big Christmas Celebration with picture taking and list tweaking, not to mention the Chess tournaments and many activities that went on while visiting groups from the states came and loved on our kids.

Talk about an experience! Almost every weekend in December anywhere from 1-5 groups came to celebrate Christmas with our kids. Many came baring gifts. I had never seen such generosity!

In December just before I left to go see my family for Christmas, I spoke with Debora about going back to just being there to serve and come alongside, as well as, back to the basics of being a pal to the kids. For some reason, I guess the leader in me, I kept being put in positions of leadership with the children and my relationships began to suffer. God did a work and quite honestly an overhall in me through many experiences last year, much of which came through taking a good look at who I WAS.

For the remaining months, I just focused on the kids and had some great memories with them. I was glad to spend the remaining months relating to the kids, hanging out in their bunks, on their floors and just chilling with them. Yes, one day I even peed my pants. I had never done so in my ENTIRE LIFE! All of a sudden I was surrounded by about seven of the "Chiquitas" as we called the youngest girls dorm and they began to tickle me. Well, all I have to say is that I had to be very creative in stopping the tickling, descretely make my way half way across the property and up to my room where I was sure I had pee all over me. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but the girls sure had a whirl with it!

In my remaining months, I continued to seek to strengthen ties with supporting groups and initiate contact with new groups as my goal in coming to Estado was to understand their daily needs and then communicate them to churches and organizations in the states. Unfortunately, our economy made some harsh turns and it appears that support at Estado is limited at this time.

I had some great memories and I have some not so great memories, but all in all it was a year that I will never forget. I have learned even many months later through good decisions, bad decisions and down right wrong decisions, that God's love for me remains and that He has a purpose and a way in our lives.

I am thinking of writing a pamphlet called, "So you think you are ready to go on the Mission field". It sounds a bit tongue and cheek, but I learned many things out of all the experiences from last year, and one of them was that I needed to have a different type of support system, level of accountability and overall covering than I thought I had when I left for Mexico. Our support systems in life often come from unexpected people and sources.

I'm so thankful for the church I came out of, Living Hope, for allowing me the exposure to such a great ministry and for all the growth experiences I was afforded in the years prior to my moving to Estado. My time in Southern California and in the San Clemente area in particular were training grounds and a launching point for a life calling to missions and multi-cultural ministry.

Thank you to all that supported me and carried me through my time in Mexico. It was great to meet new friends and build existing friendships while I was away. Your emails, cards, phone calls, and financial support meant so much to me.

What am I up to now...
Hanging out with the family and thoroughly enjoying my niece and nephew.
I am exploring certification programs to become a medical interpreter with the hopes of going on trips to Spanish speaking countries and helping with medical brigades, and having options to go into local hospitals and interpret.
I am also preparing to go back to Bible College, almost 10 years after beginning at LIFE, to complete my degree and minor in multi-cultural ministries.

I leave you with some words that I spoke to Living Hope shortly before leaving for Mexico. The truth in these three principles still remains and rings true even more in my life after last years many experiences.

Be Obedient! - The ALTERNATIVE has CONSEQUENCES with an oh so painful PRICE
Be Faithful! - We are called to FAITHFULNESS
Trust in God! - Don't ever lean on your own understanding, but in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

We have been called to go into all the nations and preach the gospel! Have you accepted the Great Commission and what that means for YOUR life?

Fondly,
Nicole

August 19, 2007

Well, I'm long overdue for an entry, but thought it best not to write in the midst of the worst homesickness I've ever experienced in my life. Some of you know that ten years ago I moved from the Bay Area to Southern California after 25 years of roots in the San Mateo Bay Area. That was an adjustment, but was nothing compared to what I experienced in months two and three here. Yep, months two and three were full of culture shock. I had great moments, but was also very saturated by a great sense of feeling like a total alien. Dealing with discomfort at every angle and dealing with a lack of acceptance of differences. Part of adjusting to a culture is the learning process and sometimes to be honest, one doesn't always like what they learn about the people or culture they are choosing to live with and love. And vise versa I'm sure if you were to ask the people around me. One thing I realized after about two months here, is that my personality was polar opposite here. Can you imagine people describing me as the perfect companion, one who hardly talks and just hangs out by your side. Hardly the Nicole Fulmer I've known for the last 35 years. But that's all part of being in another country, speaking another language and developing yourself in a foreign land. You'll be glad to know that my personality is finding it's way, and no I'm not becoming SHY and DOCILE. Although, I've often asked God to make me that type of woman, He has never granted me that petition.
Well, just when I started feeling good again, I had the opportunity to leave for the states for two weeks. My dear friend Kjerstin got married and I was able to travel to be a part of Kjerstin and Tom Deane's special day, as well as, have time to visit with family and friends. Just what the doctor ordered. Speaking of doctor's - my health has really improved in the past 4 months. Blood sugar and hormones which were all over the board, are NORMAL.
Upon my return to the orphanage, I was greeted with much warmth and affection and while I was away I really missed my kids and "my Home" for this time in my life. Apparently, they missed me too.

Highlights over the past three months....

• Driving a 15 passenger van with up to 25 passengers
• Attending end of the year promotional services
• Sharing high school graduation and future dreams with our 4 graduates. By the way, they are the first to graduate highschool at the orphanage in 40 years!
• Realizing that I can be somewhere and not worry about time or how something is going to get done. As they say here..."Nicole, you are almost a good Mexican"
• Riding in our new schoolbus with capacity for 48 passengers with 95 people!
• Baja 500 - I was one car length away from the cars - MMM, talk about eating dirt!
• Visits with various groups from the states - Hey all you Pennsylvanian's have you seen any dogs with "Utters" lately. Utters and "B" send their slobbery kisses
• 9 puppies
• Our beloved Mickey leaving us to stay at the Men's Center for Rehab only to be returned because they were unable to rehab him. He still barks until 3 a.m. for loneliness and sleeps all day long, not to mention where he makes his generous deposits. I've never seen a dog mark territory so thoroughly, including entering the garage of the director's and leaving his mark on their front tires.
• Teaching about the Assurance of Salvation to my 35 friends at the Center for Rehabilitation in the Valley of Guadalupe
• Walking through hurts and disappointments with the girls and having the privilege to tell them about God's perfect love and the fact that He will never leave them or forsake them
• Hugs and kisses from the masses - well I live with over 100 people you know!
• Disagreements and situations that indicate that I truly live with more than 100 people, and am growing in relationship with them everyday. Life is about relationships. Sometimes more building is happening than just hanging out and shooting the breeze.

My responsibilities change often and I am able to be involved in a variety of things. I was named Supervisor over the dorms last month, and basically that just means that I check in with the workers regularly to make sure their kids are well taken care of, daily cleaning is completed and offer to step in to provide relief for the workers when needed. Can you believe the kids don't want to do their chores sometimes and can even be downright rebellious?! Yep, my "babies" are real NORMAL kids.

I haven't taught English over the summer, but look forward to beginning again. I will be adjusting the structure and will be teaching the youngest kids and workers basics, and will offer tutoring for the older kids with their English homework, as well as, offer an optional English class for older kids with interest. My goal is to build and grow a passion for the English language for those who respond. As in my class of 15-20 Spanish students, I believe only about two of us went on to pursue the language.

I have been building a relationship with the two Center's for Rehabilitation in the Valley of Guadalupe which is 16 kilometers from San Antonio de Las Minas where I live. The Men's Center is in Flor Acosta's original home. Flor and her husband founded Estado 29 Orphanage where I live and serve.

My first experience preaching in Spanish was at the Men's Center and the Women have asked me to come and share with them as well. Here women are regarded for teaching God's Word, so you can imagine as I learned that, how I was a bit baffled to be invited to teach to a group of 35 men. In some ways this type of thing is counter-culture, because as a woman I watch my p's and q's very closely in how I relate to men and the roles I take on here. The men at the Center are very dear to me, like brothers, and I enjoy greeting them at church and when they come by for resources. I've yet to spend a lot of time at the Women's Center, but will be doing so in the future.

I hope to not leave you hanging another three months before my next entry.

I appreciate your prayers and emails, please don't forget me, because I sure haven't forgotten you!

Nicole - nizzle2u@yahoo.com

May 10, 2007
Well, a month has passed and I am very glad to say that there has been some calming of the storm. I am enjoying my new home including the many unexpected challenges that I have encountered since arriving April 7th. Many of you know that my Spanish is very good, well at least I thought it was. One of the biggest challenges for me has been a language barrier. Communication issues can surely make for a frustrating moment or week sometimes. I am learning how to speak Spanish all over again and correctly. Being a visitor once a month is very different than living here. I went from being a friend and the "candy lady" to being a babbling bafoon who is now an authority figure who doesn't have the vocabulary to command presence. It's a new cycle in my life and growth is always a good thing! I think my learning curve here has been greater than any time in my life.

I crossed the border yesterday for the first time and I find that I am preferring to speak Spanish, as well as, my English is a bit jumbled. I know I have found my home for this time in my life because as we approached the final turn off to San Antonio last night I breathed a sigh of relief and felt really greatful to be going home. You would have thought there would be sadness when we crossed the border, but I'm so glad to be here. After the first month of tremendous struggle, I am finding my way and more importantly, God is paving the way. I think He's is doing more carving away at me than anything. More of Him and less of me!

Do I miss Corporate America or having a job, car or independence. None of the above except the independence part, although I am enjoying a culture rich in chivalry and many things I have done for myself for many years, I am not "allowed" to do here because it's Man's Work. OK, I'm alright sitting back a bit.

My primary responsibilities include teaching English to 8 groups. I have to say my favorite's are the workers and the small children. Probably because they want to be there. We are working on the basics ABC's, numbers 1-10 and basic conversational concepts. This is a totally new experience for me, so I am learning as I go. I constantly tell the kids that I am learning alongside of them. It's a great concept - Be a lifelong learner! I need to learn how to say that in Spanish!

Well, some highlights...
*I went to pick up the kids (as a passenger of course) from school in a 40 passenger school bus and we returned with 68+ people in the bus. Mom and Dad if you are reading cover your eyes!!!
*I spent Monday at a public pool with all the teenage boys. I was the only adult who knew how to swim, and I suffered the whole day! Well, not really, hot doesn't even describe our weather right now.
*I'm learning to adjust to what they call a "cowboy shower" - fondly known as a bucket shower. Hats and headbands are my friend! We have a very tight water situation here and the heat is not helping things. We bathe every other day and are very conservative with all water usage. We have a well on our property that produces water for 2-3 hours/day otherwise it's off we go in Dino (The dinasour - a really old truck) to fill the two large water tanks and return them to our under ground tank that pumps water throughout the orphanage. We go for water twice a day and then purchase water for tanks that supplies drinking water, cooking and purified water to the kitchen and dorms. As you can imagine with 100+ people, 3 meals a day, laundry, bathing, etc. we consume a lot of water.
*We had some excitement here last night. A palm tree adjacent to my building caught on fire twice. One of the teen boys climbed the roof with a fire extinguisher and was grasping the tree trying to cut the palm frawns away from the wires when he was electricuted. To my knowledge he is OK. The fire department came and the electric company and as a result I have power restored in my room. We had a huge surge last weekend and I lost power to one of my outlets. Thank goodness for a really good surge protector and an understanding of the electrical system here. I disconnect EVERYTHING when I am not using it. I am one of two people here that did not loose their computer. I lost a surge protector, but that has already been replaced. As near as I can figure the surge fried my surge protector, because it no longer works.
*The church services at Bethesda, Assemblies of God Church are great, but I am acclimating to a 4 hour service vs. a 1.5 hour service.
*I am learning more and more about the kids as the days go by and certain one's are gaining confidence with me in a new way. I work closely with the teen girls and thanks to a donation of two chairs, I have a spot in my room (dare I say really large studio apartment) where I can sit and talk with the kids away from the ruccus. When I give a tour and show my room, most recent construction, the ongoing joke is that "this is how a missionary lives in Mexico". The director has been very generous with me, and my continued hope is to bless those I live with.
*I find that when I am with English speaking people I'm quite confused. My speech is a bit broken and depending on the topic I find myself translating from Spanish to English in my head before speaking. It's a bit ridiculous. I began to speak English yesterday and the words fell out with the strangest accent. If I'm learning anything here, it's to laugh at myself. The culture here at the orphanage is full of teasing and downright mocking. Talk about growing a thicker skin. And I thought PIMCO prepared me for the LIONS roar! Ha!!!!

Well, in order to not bore you all to death and to save some news for another entry...
I wish you well and hope you will keep in touch. My emails are often brief and not too newsy because it takes about 5 minutes inbetween emails to send replies, etc. so I often loose interest in writing. Please check my blog as that will be where I post most newsy news.

To those of you who are supporting me while I am down here or supported me in anticipation of my departure, I thank you so much for giving me wings to do what I had dreamed of for many years and more importantly to allow me to love on these kids and workers daily. My hope and anticipation is to impact their lives little by little and that each person here would experience the Perfect love of Jesus, and the love of all of you who have extended your hand to help in this ministry.

Hugs to all,
Nicole

Mexico Adventure

April 5th

Tomorrow I leave for San Antonio de las Minas, Mexico where I will be spending at least the next year working with the children and workers of the Estado 29 Orphanage. I look forward to hearing from you all over the next months and will do my best to post tidbits and photos so you can share in this awesome time in my life.

All my love,
Nicole